Naomi's Birth

I'm not really sure why I have put off writing.  Perhaps because it was a pretty traumatizing experience.  Perhaps because three kids leaves WAY less time to sit and think about things.  Perhaps just because I've gotten so bad about blogging that it seems too overwhelming.  But today I caught up on a blog, written by my friend, Cameron, and realized I need to put on my big girl panties and get this written down before even more is forgotten.

Axl was born 2 weeks early.  Cooper was born 1 week early.  I joked all through the pregnancy about this one going full term, locking myself in my room, etc., but never once did I actually think she would stay in there THAT long.  Then came October 22nd.  The day AFTER my due date.

At my appointment on the 18th I told Melissa, my midwife, that I didn't really think I could mentally go past my due date.  She told me then that the situation for a natural induction seemed pretty favorable.  I was at a 3 and about 80% and my water was "bulging".  She said she would put me on the books for a Monday morning induction in case the stripping of the membranes we were doing that day and the next did not put me into labor.  The nurse ended up calling me that evening to tell me that the hospital could not schedule that until THURSDAY.  At this point, I was so done that this was devastating news.  That night, Tyler came home with a list, and supplies needed, for a ton of ways to "induce labor at home".  Raspberry tea, fresh pineapple, lunges, squats, stairs, spicy foods (he brought Hot Tamales :) ), etc., and I did every last one.  To no avail.  Melissa could tell how much the possibility of THURSDAY was bothering me, so on Friday she suggested I come in to the office on Monday to be put on the monitor to see if I was contracting at all.  In which case we could say I was "in labor", she could admit me, and then break my water.

Fast forward to Monday morning.  Kids were ready for a couple days at Catherine's house, my hair was braided, and I went to my appointment.  Yay!  Monitor caught 2 contractions.  I was at a 4 and 90%.  Melissa put it into my hands a little more than I would like, saying that going in now versus waiting it out gave a chance I would need Pit, which would cut the likelihood of a natural birth.  Did I mention I was trying for a natural birth?  Crazy, I know.  Let's be honest, there's no way I'm leaving, going to pick up my kids, and going back to a grossly pregnant life for 4 MORE DAYS.  I say "let's do it".

I then find out I tested positive for Strep B and have to start the IV antibiotics before we can do anything.  She sent me to the hospital to get those going with plans to come around lunchtime to break my water.  I had asked my mom to come with me to the appointment in case Melissa turned me away and I needed encouragement to actually go home instead of fleeing to Florida, ha.  Tyler planned to take off the 2nd half of the day if things started moving.  Melissa came to break my water at about 12:30.  She did.  Twice, because nothing came out.  Apparently my water wasn't "bulging" anymore, ha.  But after she left and I started moving around, it proved to be successful.  I was contracting at this point, but nothing to write home about.  Mostly I was catching up on Vampire Diaries episodes.  Seriously, natural labor is awesome, right?  No kids, mom and husband hanging out, and watching uninterrupted television for the first time in 4 years??

 

Between Melissa's visits I was able to stop the antibiotics and get up and moving.  We walked. Right before Melissa came back to check me at about 4:30 the contractions started to get just a little more intense and regular, about 3-4 minutes apart.  I was pausing Vampire Diaries to make it through, then starting it again, ha.  Then came the frustrating news.  4 hours and I had only progressed 1 cm to a 5.  She planned to go home and have dinner and come back about 8 or 8:30 to see how things are going.  She told me we could either start Pitocin or I could walk more to get things going instead.  I opted for the walking.

So we walked. and walked.  and walked.  Even to the gift shop.  In my hospital gown.  Weird.  But it was passing the time.  This is when I really loved having my parents and Tyler there.  We talked about random things, and they didn't get really mad when I snapped at them on a couple of occasions.  Tyler was wonderful.  He respected my weird feelings about touch, especially when I asked him to rub my back and then yelled at him to stop.  He said lots of really nice things.  (I think he brainstormed a list beforehand...) Really quickly we realized that the contractions, when I was actively walking, were coming much more regularly.  I was only experiencing about a minute of rest in between them.  My mom was getting all antsy and bug eyed, saying we needed to let the nurse know how quick they were, and I just told her to cool it, that this was what was supposed to be happening.  Mistake #1.

So we kept walking until I started thinking that something had to change.  Me stopping, telling myself my mantra, "open and down, open and down" (thinking about the pain making it possible for the baby to move down...something I had heard in a birthing class) and rocking while holding onto the hand rail wasn't cutting it anymore.  We found the nurse and asked her to fill the tub, something I had NO intentions of doing.  But the pain was intense enough that I decided if I didn't do something major I was going to be requesting an epidural soon.  I think at this point it was about 6:30.  The time it took to fill the tub was excruciating.  And then to get in and feel no relief was an extreme letdown.  It seemed like every time I looked at the clock only like 2 minutes had passed.  The nurse started trying to get me to do the lamaze type breathing, which accomplished only hyperventilation.  My entire top half was in that uncomfortable, tingly, numb, "going to sleep" state.  My mental state now shifts gears from, I'm having a baby naturally to I am going to die.  Right here. Right now.  In this disgusting tub.  I'm going to die. I'm done.  I told her I needed the epidural.  She said no problem, but it will be 30 minutes to push the bag of fluids before he can do it.  WHAT?  I am surviving minute to minute here and 30 minutes seems impossible.  They start to drain the tub...which has to happen before I can get out.  Seriously!?  WHY IS EVERYTHING TAKING SO LONG AND WHY IS NO ONE CONCERNED THAT I'M GOING TO BE LEAVING MY CHILDREN MOTHERLESS AND MY HUSBAND ALONE TO RAISE THEM.  Clearly, I did not request that they call my midwife before I went certifiably insane from the pain and couldn't put a complete sentence together.  Mistake #2.

  

 I found out after the fact, that when I started requesting the epidural, Tyler started hinting around to the nurse, and actually ended up just outright saying he wanted her to check me.  Which she did when I finally made it onto the bed.  9 and +1 station.  Now the nurse had bug eyes.  I was finally able to put the sentence together, "Is Melissa going to be here for the birth?"  The nurse left to call her, Tyler requested oxygen for me, no one is really saying anything, and I still think I am dying and everyone is just leaving the room.  Tyler turned on the video camera at this point.  (I have still not watched it)  Everyone came back in hustle and bustle fashion.  I felt like 8 eyes were just surrounding me and staring.  No one was saying push, but the nurse said, "if it feels better to bear down, go ahead and do that".  My body was doing it on it's own.  In my mind, I am still dying.  Apparently the nurse saw some action--keep in mind the bed is still just a regular hospital bed; my feet are not up in stirrups, there is no counting, the bed is still just dressed in regular sheets and blankets, and those 8 eyes are still just staring--and said, "If you want Melissa to be here, you just need to breathe through these contractions."  Not possible.  I tried.  I really did.  But my body was just pushing, pushing, pushing.

 

I felt her head come out.  Is that really what just happened?  No one seems to notice, so it's probably just what it feels like when you're about to DIE!  When Tyler finally looked down away from my face he later tells me she was already halfway out.  The nurse caught the baby and tried really, really hard to look calm and like she knew what she's doing, but her eyes told a different story.  The hospitalist made it in to deliver the placenta and Melissa made it in only to stitch me up a little and clean up the mess, poor gal.  I actually verbally asked the question, "Did I do it?  Is the pain part over?"  They chuckled at my seemingly drugged, BUT NOT DRUGGED, state. By the way, the length of the video, which Tyler started when I got out of the tub and onto the bed was...drumroll, please...12 minutes.

They handed her up to my chest and she was seriously ready to nurse.  Between sucklings she made the most wonderful squeaky bird-like sound I had ever heard in my life.  Which, later I would find out, was the only time she would make those noises.  I seriously loved them.  

 

And in case you were wondering, I did not die.  Though it took a couple days for me to think about and look at the experience as what it really was, a birth story.  The birth story of this most precious girl.

Naomi Tinker Hamilton

Born October 22nd, 2012

 7:16 pm

8 lbs 10 oz 

20 3/4 inches