Sweet Relief

Honestly...I had never imagined having a baby with colic. I had heard about it, even talked to people who had "colicky" babies, felt bad for them, and NEVER gave it a second thought. Until Cooper. This experience has definitely been an eye-opener for me. Perhaps the hardest thing I've dealt with thus far in my life...When the bouts of crying and projectile vomiting (from the reflux) started I would guess she was about 1-2 weeks old. I felt helpless and so sorry for this little child who had no idea what was going on and couldn't tell us what to do to make it better. As they continued I didn't necessarily notice the change in myself, but things were definitely getting bad. I felt like I was fighting a battle that had no end, no hope, and honestly, I just started to shut down. Each day I went through the motions, tried to schedule someone to be here from the time Axl woke from his nap to when he went to bed (and Tyler was at work) at which times she usually slept soundly until they walked out the door. and then the screaming resumed for me. One specific day I remember thinking that I was definitely going crazy. That if someone came to my house and spoke with me, they would admit me into an insane asylum; I prayed that things would get better. It was the next day that Cooper did something Axl used to do when he nursed, stop for a while, look up, and give me a big, huge smile. It was at that moment that I realized that I wasn't even really looking at her as a person anymore. Just something that I was trying to SURVIVE. Heavenly Father and Cooper both knew that I needed something to wake me up, remind me that I have a daughter...and it worked. I had resisted calling the doctor as so many people kept suggesting to say, "my baby cries all the time" for fear that the response would be, "that's what babies do". and then I'm not sure what I would do to the person on the other end of the line. But I believe it was that next day that I made the call. After explaining everything the nurse called back, gave me some coping strategies (all of which we had tried) and said that the doctor did want to see her again. So we went back, which I already wrote about, and she has been on the Donnatol since. The first few days were TERRIBLE. She vomited probably 3-4 times as much and began puking up both the donnatol and the zantac. I remember telling Tyler that I was about to quit both the medicines, because it seemed they were making her vomit even more, when Bonnie came over one Thursday evening to help out. We trouble shot some of the dosing things...(the script was written for .5 every 4 hours, but she eats about every 3 hours and she should have the medicine on her stomach for it to work), so anyway, long story short, we came up with something that is working BEAUTIFULLY, a pretty rigid schedule, but it is definitely working and totally worth it. It is seriously like we have a different child. Sure, we have some colic episodes breaking through on occassion, but I am so rested that I can totally handle it without feeling at all like I did before. She is doing fabulously. It is so wonderful to see her be happy and content. I definitely hope we can keep this up and that she outgrows the medicine soon so we can just be! :)